Staycation vs Exploring: What to Do During Visits

One of the most common tensions in long-distance relationships is the staycation versus exploring debate. When you finally have precious time together, should you go out and create Instagram-worthy memories? Or stay in, order takeout, and just exist together without pressure?

The answer isn't one-size-fits-all, and what works for one visit might not work for the next. Here's how to find the right balance for you.

Understanding the Two Approaches

The Staycation Philosophy

Staycationers prioritize:

• Quality time over quantity of activities
• Domestic intimacy and routine
• Rest and recharge
• Being present with each other
• Practicing what living together might be like

A typical staycation day: Sleep in, make breakfast together, watch a movie, cook dinner, play games, go to bed early.

The Exploring Philosophy

Explorers prioritize:

• Making the most of limited time
• Creating memorable experiences
• Seeing and doing new things
• Taking advantage of being in the same place
• Building a collection of shared adventures

A typical exploring day: Early start, visit museums or attractions, lunch at a new restaurant, afternoon activity, special dinner out, evening entertainment.

The Benefits of Each Approach

Why Staycations Work

You practice real life together: LDRs can feel like constant vacation mode. Staycations let you do laundry, cook meals, and navigate daily life as a team.

It's less exhausting: Exploring is fun but draining. Sometimes you just need to rest.

It's more affordable: Staying in costs almost nothing compared to going out constantly.

You focus on connection: Without distractions, you can have long conversations and genuine quality time.

It's comfortable: No pressure to be "on" or impress each other. You can be yourselves.

Why Exploring Works

You create shared memories: Stories and experiences that are uniquely yours as a couple.

You make the most of time together: When visits are rare, it feels important to do special things.

You discover new things: Exploring keeps the relationship fresh and exciting.

It feels like a treat: After weeks apart, going out and having adventures feels celebratory.

You learn together: New experiences reveal new sides of each other.

Finding Your Balance

Consider These Factors

Visit length:

• 48-hour weekend: Mix of both, lean toward staycation
• 3-4 day weekend: More room for exploring
• Week+: Definitely mix both

How often you visit:

• Every week or two: Staycation makes more sense
• Once a month: 60/40 staycation to exploring
• Every few months: 50/50 or lean exploring
• Rare visits: Explore more, but not 100%

Your personalities:

• Homebodies: Natural staycationers
• Adventurers: Need exploring to feel fulfilled
• One of each: Requires compromise

Your schedules:

• Both exhausted from work: Staycation
• Fresh off vacation: Exploring
• Mixed energy: Balance both

Financial situation:

• Tight budget: Mostly staycation with cheap exploring
• Comfortable budget: Freedom to choose
• Splurge trip: More exploring

The Hybrid Approach (Best for Most Couples)

The 70/30 Rule

Most successful LDR couples find a 70/30 balance works best:

• 70% staycation vibes: Cooking at home, relaxing, domestic routine
• 30% exploring: One special activity or outing per day

This gives you both connection time and memorable experiences without exhaustion.

Sample Hybrid Weekend

Friday:

• Evening: Reunion, order delivery, stay in (100% staycation)

Saturday:

• Morning: Lazy breakfast at home, coffee on the couch
• Afternoon: Explore a new neighborhood or visit an attraction
• Evening: Nice dinner out
• Night: Home for a movie
• (60% exploring, 40% staycation)

Sunday:

• Morning: Brunch at home, farmers market visit
• Afternoon: Just hang out, read, relax
• Evening: Cook dinner together, low-key goodbye
• (70% staycation, 30% exploring)

Overall balance: Mostly relaxed with highlights of adventure.

When to Choose Staycation

Ideal Staycation Scenarios

You just visited recently: If you saw each other two weeks ago, you don't need to pack in activities.

Someone is sick or exhausted: Rest and care, not sightseeing.

You've been together a long time: Established couples often prefer domestic comfort.

Weather is terrible: Rainy weekend? Perfect for staying in.

You just had a big exploring trip: If your last visit was adventure-packed, balance it with calm.

You're preparing for something: If one of you has a big work week ahead, rest is more valuable.

Perfect Staycation Activities

• Cook all meals together
• Binge a TV series
• Do a jigsaw puzzle
• Read in the same room
• Give each other massages
• Take baths
• Play video or board games
• Work on a project together (organize closet, build furniture)
• Just talk for hours

When to Choose Exploring

Ideal Exploring Scenarios

First few visits: Early in the relationship, you want to create experiences together.

Special occasions: Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays deserve celebration.

You haven't seen each other in months: Long gaps call for making the visit feel special.

One person is visiting a new city: If you don't live there yet, exploring helps you learn it together.

Perfect weather: Beautiful spring day? Get outside.

Limited future visits planned: If you don't know when you'll see each other next, make it count.

Perfect Exploring Activities

• Visit museums or cultural attractions
• Try new restaurants
• Go hiking or to the beach
• Attend concerts or events
• Explore new neighborhoods
• Take a day trip
• Do wine tasting or brewery tours
• Try an activity neither of you has done

Use Booking.com to find hotels if you're making a weekend getaway adventure out of your visit.

Common Conflicts and How to Resolve Them

When You Have Different Preferences

The problem: One person wants adventure, the other wants to stay in.

The solution:

• Alternate: This visit we stay in more, next visit we explore more
• Compromise daily: Morning at home, afternoon out
• Let the visitor choose: If you traveled to see them, you get more say
• Trial and adjust: Try one approach and check in about how it feels

The "We're Wasting Time" Anxiety

The problem: Feeling guilty about "doing nothing" when time together is limited.

The solution:

• Reframe: Time together is never wasted, even if you're just sitting on the couch
• Remember: The relationship needs both types of experiences
• Quality over quantity: One meaningful conversation is worth ten tourist attractions
• Check in: "Does this feel good?" If yes, you're not wasting time

The Exhaustion Problem

The problem: You over-scheduled exploring and now you're both tired and cranky.

The solution:

• Cancel plans: It's okay to skip the museum if you're exhausted
• Built-in downtime: Schedule lazy mornings and restful evenings
• Learn for next time: If this visit was too packed, adjust the next one
• Afternoon naps: Sometimes a power nap saves the evening

How to Decide for Each Visit

The Pre-Visit Discussion

Before the visit, have a quick conversation:

Questions to ask each other:

• "How are you feeling energy-wise?"
• "Do you want this visit to be more relaxed or more adventurous?"
• "Is there anything specific you want to do?"
• "Should we make reservations or keep it spontaneous?"

The Check-In System

During the visit, check in with each other:

• "How are you feeling about today's plan?"
• "Do you need more downtime or are you up for going out?"
• "Should we cancel dinner reservations and order in?"

Permission to change plans is crucial.

Evolution Over Time

How Preferences Change

Year 1: More exploring. You're building experiences and getting to know each other.

Year 2: Starting to appreciate staycations. Comfortable enough to just hang out.

Year 3+: Usually prefer staycation with occasional exploring. You're practicing for living together.

Pre-closing the distance: Often a return to more exploring to make final LDR memories.

This progression is normal and healthy.

The Best of Both Worlds

Staycation Activities That Feel Special

• Cook a fancy meal together (feels like an experience)
• At-home spa night (pampering without leaving)
• Build a blanket fort (playful and memorable)
• Have a themed movie marathon (creates a mini-event)
• Do a cocktail tasting at home (fun and affordable)

Exploring That Feels Relaxed

• Slow walk through a park or neighborhood
• Coffee shop hopping (out but low-key)
• Window shopping (exploring without pressure)
• Picnic in a scenic spot (outdoor + relaxed)
• Sunset watching (special but simple)

Budget Considerations

Staycation Costs

• Groceries: $60-100 for a weekend
• One nice takeout: $40-60
• Entertainment (rent movies, buy a game): $20
• Total: $120-180

Exploring Costs

• Meals out (3 days): $150-300
• Activities/attractions: $50-150
• Transportation: $30-80
• Misc (coffee, snacks): $40-60
• Total: $270-590

Staycation is significantly cheaper, which matters when visits are frequent or budgets are tight.

Signs You Need More of One Than the Other

You Need More Staycation If:

• Visits feel rushed and stressful
• You're always exhausted by Sunday
• You barely have real conversations
• You're spending too much money
• The relationship feels performative
• You miss just being together without agenda

You Need More Exploring If:

• Visits feel repetitive and boring
• You're running out of things to talk about
• You feel disconnected even when together
• You're not creating new memories
• You feel like you're always just waiting for real life to start

Real Talk: What Works for Us

My partner and I have found our rhythm after years of trial and error:

Regular visits (monthly): 80% staycation, 20% exploring. We cook most meals, stay in most evenings, but have one nice dinner out and one daytime activity.

After long gaps (3+ months): 50/50 balance. We need both reconnection time and celebration.

Special occasions: 70% exploring, 30% staycation. We'll do multiple activities but still have cozy nights in.

The key was learning that:

• We don't have to prove our love by constant activity
• Boring can be romantic
• The relationship needs both adventure and domesticity
• It's okay to change plans mid-visit

Final Thoughts

The staycation versus exploring debate isn't about finding one right answer. It's about learning what your relationship needs at any given moment.

Some visits need lazy mornings and Netflix. Some visits need adventure and new experiences. Most visits need both.

The couples who struggle are the ones who feel obligated to choose one extreme: either they force themselves to go out constantly and end up exhausted, or they stay in every visit and feel like they're in a rut.

The couples who thrive are flexible. They read the room, communicate about what they need, and aren't afraid to pivot.

Remember: the goal isn't to create the perfect Instagram story. The goal is to build a strong, sustainable relationship that works in both adventure and everyday life.

Whether you're exploring a new city or exploring each other's company on the couch, you're building something real.