How to Tell Your Employer You're Relocating

Telling your employer you're relocating is nerve-wracking. You're worried about their reaction, your job security, and how to frame a personal decision in a professional context. This guide provides scripts, timing strategies, and negotiation tactics to help you navigate this conversation with confidence.

Before You Say Anything: Know Your Goals

Clarify what you want from this conversation:

Option 1: Keep Your Job (Remote Work)

• You want to continue in your current role from the new location
• You're willing to negotiate terms (schedule, travel, compensation)
• You believe your work can be done effectively remotely

Option 2: Internal Transfer

• Your company has offices or operations in your destination city
• You're open to a different role or team within the company
• You want to maintain your tenure and benefits

Option 3: Graceful Exit

• You know remote work isn't possible or desirable
• There's no transfer opportunity
• You want to leave on good terms with proper notice
• You'd like a positive reference and possibly a return opportunity

Knowing your goal shapes your conversation strategy.

When to Tell Your Employer

Timing Considerations

The right timing balances professionalism with self-protection:

Tell Them Early (3-6 Months Before) If:

• You have a good relationship with your manager
• You want to negotiate remote work or transfer
• Your role requires significant transition planning
• Company culture values transparency
• You need employer support (relocation assistance, references)
• You're seeking internal transfer opportunities

Wait Until Closer (4-8 Weeks Before) If:

• Your relationship with management is uncertain
• You worry about being pushed out early
• You need your job security until the last possible moment
• Company has history of immediately terminating relocating employees
• You're still finalizing plans and don't want speculation

Standard Professional Notice:

• Minimum: 2 weeks (standard resignation notice)
• Recommended: 4-6 weeks (shows professionalism, allows transition)
• Generous: 3 months (for senior roles or if seeking remote work)

Red Flags to Watch For

Be more cautious about early disclosure if:

• Your company has laid off employees recently
• You've seen others pushed out after giving notice
• You're on a performance improvement plan
• You're in the middle of a critical project they might remove you from
• Your bonus, commission, or vest date is approaching

Preparing for the Conversation

Do Your Research First

• Company policy: Check employee handbook for relocation, remote work policies
• Precedent: Has anyone else successfully gone remote or transferred?
• Your value: Document your contributions, performance metrics, and achievements
• Market rates: Understand if remote work affects compensation in your industry
• Legal requirements: Know what notice period your contract requires

Build Your Case (If Seeking Remote Work)

Create a compelling proposal:

How to Have the Conversation

Step 1: Schedule a Private Meeting

Don't spring this on your manager in passing. Request a dedicated meeting:

Email template:

"Hi [Manager], I'd like to schedule some time to discuss my role and some upcoming personal changes. Do you have 30 minutes this week for a private conversation?"

Step 2: Start with Appreciation

Frame the conversation positively:

"I want to start by saying how much I've valued my time here and the opportunities you've given me. I've learned a tremendous amount and genuinely appreciate the support you've provided."

Step 3: Deliver the News Clearly

Be direct but not apologetic. You're informing them, not asking permission for your personal life:

"I wanted to let you know that due to personal circumstances, I'll be relocating to [City] in [timeframe]. I wanted to discuss this with you early so we can explore options together."

Step 4: Present Your Preferred Solution

Immediately follow with what you'd like to happen:

If Proposing Remote Work:

"I'd love to continue in my role remotely if possible. I've put together a proposal that outlines how I'd maintain productivity, communication, and collaboration with the team. I believe this could work well for everyone. Would you be open to reviewing this proposal and discussing the possibility?"

If Seeking Transfer:

"I know we have operations in [City], and I'm very interested in exploring transfer opportunities. I'd like to stay with the company and continue contributing to our goals. Can we discuss what might be available in that location?"

If Resigning:

"I understand that remote work isn't feasible for this role, so I'm prepared to resign. I want to ensure a smooth transition and am committed to helping train my replacement and document my work thoroughly. I'm planning for my last day to be [date], which gives us [X weeks] for transition."

Step 5: Listen and Respond

Your manager will need time to process. They might:

• Ask why you're moving (keep it brief: "personal/family reasons")
• Express disappointment or surprise
• Need to discuss with HR or senior leadership
• Ask for time to consider remote work or transfer options
• Accept your resignation immediately

Stay professional, don't over-explain your personal life, and give them space to respond.

Conversation Scripts by Scenario

Script 1: Seeking Remote Work (Strong Case)

"Hi [Manager], I wanted to talk with you about an upcoming change in my personal life. My partner and I are planning to move to [City] in [timeframe] to be closer together after doing long distance for [duration].

I've really valued my time on this team and the work we've accomplished together. Because of that, I'd love to explore continuing in my role remotely if that's possible. I've put together a detailed proposal that outlines how I'd maintain—and even improve—my productivity and collaboration with the team.

I know [Company] has embraced more remote flexibility recently, and I believe my track record demonstrates I can be trusted to deliver strong work regardless of location. I'm also happy to commit to quarterly trips back to the office and full availability during core business hours.

Would you be open to reviewing my proposal and discussing this possibility? I'm giving you this much advance notice specifically because I want to work together to find a solution that works for everyone."

Script 2: Requesting Internal Transfer

"I wanted to share some news with you early so we can plan accordingly. For personal reasons, I'll be relocating to [City] in [timeframe]. This has been a carefully considered decision related to my long-term relationship.

I've loved working here and would really like to continue with [Company] if possible. I know we have [office/operations/team] in [City], and I'm very interested in exploring internal transfer opportunities. I'm open to different roles within my skill set and see this as a potential growth opportunity as well.

What's the best process for exploring what might be available? Should I work with you, HR, or directly reach out to managers in that location?"

Script 3: Professional Resignation

"I wanted to meet with you to share some important news. I'll be relocating to [City] in [timeframe] for personal reasons—my partner and I are finally closing the distance after [duration] apart.

I know this role requires in-person presence, so I'm submitting my resignation effective [date]. I'm giving you [X weeks] notice because I want to ensure a thorough transition. I'm committed to documenting all my processes, training whoever takes over my responsibilities, and being as helpful as possible during this transition period.

I've genuinely appreciated my time here and the opportunities you've given me. I hope we can stay in touch, and I'd welcome the chance to return to [Company] if circumstances ever change."

Script 4: Delicate Situation (Less Notice, Uncertain Response)

"I need to discuss an upcoming change with you. I'll be relocating to [City] at the end of [month] for family reasons. I wanted to give you as much notice as professionally appropriate—my last day would be [date].

I'm committed to making this transition as smooth as possible. I've already started documenting my current projects and can create a comprehensive handoff plan. I'm also happy to discuss what would be most helpful during my remaining time here.

I've valued the experience I've gained here and hope we can maintain a positive professional relationship."

Negotiating Remote Work

What to Offer

Make it easy for them to say yes:

• Trial period: "Let's try this for 3 months and assess"
• Performance metrics: "We can establish clear KPIs to measure my continued success"
• Travel commitment: "I'm happy to come back quarterly for in-person collaboration"
• Overlap hours: "I'll maintain 9-5 in your time zone despite my location"
• Over-communication: "I'll do daily check-ins and be even more responsive than before"
• Equipment: "I have a dedicated home office setup with reliable internet"

Addressing Common Concerns

What to Negotiate

• Salary: Some companies adjust pay for location; negotiate to maintain current compensation
• Travel budget: Get quarterly trips back covered by company
• Equipment: Home office setup, monitor, ergonomic chair
• Schedule flexibility: Core hours vs. full-time availability
• Review timeline: When will you assess if remote work is successful?

What Not to Say

Avoid these common mistakes:

• Don't overshare: "My boyfriend and I met online and..." Keep it brief and professional.
• Don't apologize excessively: You're not doing something wrong.
• Don't threaten: "If you don't let me work remotely, I'll have to quit" is adversarial.
• Don't be vague: "I might be moving sometime" creates uncertainty. Be clear about timeframe.
• Don't criticize: "This job isn't worth staying for anyway" burns bridges.
• Don't lie: If asked directly, don't claim it's anything other than personal/relationship reasons.
• Don't compare: "But you let Sarah work remotely!" sounds entitled.

After the Conversation

Follow Up in Writing

Send an email recap:

"Thank you for taking the time to discuss my upcoming relocation today. To summarize our conversation:

• I'll be relocating to [City] on [date]
• [You'll review my remote work proposal / You'll check with HR about transfers / My last day will be X]
• We'll reconnect on [date] to discuss next steps

I appreciate your understanding and look forward to working together on the transition."

If They Need Time to Decide

• Ask for a specific timeline: "When can I expect to hear back?"
• Continue performing well (don't check out mentally)
• Prepare for either outcome
• Don't discuss with coworkers until decision is made

If They Say No to Remote Work

• Accept their decision gracefully
• Transition to resignation conversation
• Maintain professionalism (you want that reference)
• Focus on smooth handoff and positive exit

If They Say Yes!

• Get the agreement in writing
• Clarify all terms (salary, schedule, review period)
• Work with HR on logistics (tax implications, equipment)
• Set clear expectations and check-in cadence
• Overdeliver in your first months remote to prove it works

Special Situations

If You're Asked: "Why are you moving?"

Keep it brief and professional:

• "Personal reasons—my partner and I are closing the distance after being long-distance for [timeframe]."
• "Family reasons—we're consolidating households."
• "I'm relocating to be with my partner who has a career opportunity in [City]."

You don't owe elaborate details about your personal life.

If You're in a Same-Sex Relationship

In most professional environments, this shouldn't matter, but consider:

• Company culture and location (conservative area?)
• Your comfort level with disclosure
• Legal protections in your state
• Whether you've been out at work previously

You can use gender-neutral language ("partner") without specification if preferred.

If You Haven't Told Colleagues About Your Relationship

You might suddenly be disclosing both a relationship and a relocation:

• Tell your manager first, before rumors spread
• You don't need to explain why you haven't mentioned the relationship before
• Control your narrative by being straightforward when you do share

Legal Considerations

• Review your contract: Some contracts have non-compete or notice period requirements
• Check bonus/vesting schedules: Time your departure to maximize compensation
• Understand benefits: When does health insurance end? Can you COBRA?
• Vacation payout: Will you be paid for accrued unused PTO?
• Remote work tax implications: Working from a different state can affect taxes for both you and employer

Final Tips for Success

• Stay professional: This is business, even though it's personal
• Be confident: You're not asking for permission to live your life
• Document everything: Keep written records of all conversations and agreements
• Maintain performance: Don't slack off after announcing; protect your reputation
• Be gracious: Express gratitude regardless of their response
• Think long-term: Industries are small; maintain positive relationships

Final Thoughts

Telling your employer you're relocating is stressful, but remember: you're making a life decision, not just a career decision. The right employer will understand that talented people have lives outside of work. If they don't, that tells you something valuable about the organization.

Approach the conversation with professionalism, clarity, and confidence. Whether you negotiate remote work, secure a transfer, or move on to a new opportunity, handling this conversation well protects your reputation and maintains valuable professional relationships.

Your personal life matters. Your relationship matters. And with the right approach, you can honor both your professional responsibilities and your commitment to closing the distance with your partner.

Ready for the next steps? Read our guides on career considerations when moving, deciding who moves, and your 6-month moving timeline.