When's the Right Time to Close the Distance?

Knowing when to close the distance is one of the most important decisions you'll make in your long-distance relationship. Move too soon, and you risk relationship strain or practical problems. Wait too long, and the distance itself might damage your connection. This guide helps you identify the optimal timing based on relationship readiness, practical considerations, and personal circumstances.

Why Timing Matters

The timing of your move affects everything:

Relationship Readiness Indicators

Before considering logistics, assess whether your relationship is ready:

Green Lights: You're Probably Ready

Yellow Lights: Proceed with Caution

Red Lights: Not Ready Yet

If you're seeing yellow or red lights, consider a trial run before committing to the move.

The Ideal Timeline

Most successful long-distance relationships close the distance within this framework:

Minimum Timeline: 12 Months

At minimum, you should have:

Optimal Timeline: 18-24 Months

This timeframe allows you to:

Maximum Timeline: 3-5 Years

While some relationships sustain distance longer, beyond 3-5 years:

Key insight: What matters most is having a plan and timeline you both agree on, rather than a specific duration of distance.

Practical Readiness Checklist

Beyond relationship readiness, you need practical preparedness:

Financial Readiness:

  • You've saved enough for moving costs plus 3-month buffer
  • At least one partner has secured employment or has 6+ months savings
  • You've created a realistic budget for your new life together
  • You understand the cost of living in your new city
  • You've discussed how you'll handle shared expenses
  • You have an emergency fund separate from moving costs

Career Readiness:

  • You've researched job markets in your destination city
  • At least one partner has job security in the new location
  • You've reached a career stage where transition makes sense
  • You're not sacrificing a once-in-a-lifetime career opportunity
  • You have a backup plan if job search takes longer than expected

Logistical Readiness:

  • You've identified suitable housing options
  • You've visited the destination city together
  • You understand the logistics of the actual move
  • You've settled any lease or housing obligations in current location
  • You've researched necessary licenses, registrations, etc.

Use our complete moving budget template to assess financial readiness.

Best Times of Year to Move

Seasonal timing affects both cost and ease of transition:

Fall (September-November): BEST

Pros:

Cons:

Spring (March-May): GOOD

Pros:

Cons:

Winter (December-February): BUDGET-FRIENDLY

Pros:

Cons:

Summer (June-August): AVOID IF POSSIBLE

Pros:

Cons:

Life Stage Considerations

Your age and life stage affect optimal timing:

Early 20s (Post-College)

Advantages of moving now:

Considerations:

Late 20s to Early 30s (Career Building)

Advantages of moving now:

Considerations:

Mid-30s and Beyond (Established Career)

Advantages of moving now:

Considerations:

Career Timing Strategies

Coordinate your move with career transitions:

Ideal Career Timing Scenarios:

Risky Career Timing:

Learn more about career planning when moving for love.

Warning Signs You're Moving Too Soon

Be cautious if you notice these red flags:

When to Wait Longer

Consider postponing your move if:

Important: Waiting is only healthy if you have a concrete plan and timeline. Indefinite postponement damages relationships.

Creating Your Timeline

Work together to create a realistic timeline:

Step 1: Identify Target Date Range (3-month window)

  • Consider seasonal preferences
  • Account for lease end dates
  • Factor in career timing
  • Consider personal milestones

Step 2: Work Backward from Target

  • 6 months before: Start saving and planning
  • 4 months before: Secure housing and employment
  • 3 months before: Book movers and make arrangements
  • 2 months before: Begin packing and transitioning
  • 1 month before: Finalize all details

Step 3: Build in Flexibility

  • Have Plan B if job search takes longer
  • Know your walk-away point if things feel wrong
  • Allow cushion for unexpected delays
  • Don't burn bridges in case timing needs adjustment

Use our 6-month moving checklist to plan your transition.

Having the Timing Conversation

Tips for discussing when to close the distance:

Final Thoughts

There's no perfect timing for closing the distance, but there are better and worse times. The right time is when:

Remember, closing the distance is not an end goal but the beginning of a new chapter. Rushing leads to problems; excessive delay creates frustration. Find the timing that honors both your relationship and your individual circumstances.

Trust your gut. If something feels off about the timing, explore those feelings before committing. If everything aligns and you're both excited despite natural nervousness, you're probably ready.

Ready to take the next steps? Read our guides on deciding who moves, setting expectations, and emotional preparation for your move.