Cohabitation Agreements: A Plain-English Guide for Couples Moving In Together

On this page

1. What is a cohabitation agreement?
2. Why unmarried couples need to think about this
3. Why it matters more when one of you moved
4. Do you need one? A quick decision guide
5. What to include: a section-by-section outline
6. How to bring it up without it sounding like distrust
7. How to make one, step by step
8. Other documents unmarried couples should consider
9. Special cases for international couples
10. When to update it
11. FAQ

You're closing the distance, which usually means one of you is giving up a job, an apartment, and a support network to move into the other's city, maybe into the other's home. If the relationship works, none of this paperwork matters. If it doesn't, the person who moved can end up with nothing but a suitcase and a long trip home.

A cohabitation agreement (also called a living-together agreement) is how you make the deal fair before anyone needs it. It's not romantic, and it doesn't have to be cold either.

What is a cohabitation agreement?

It's a contract between two people who live together without being married. A typical one covers:

• What each of you owned before moving in, and that it stays yours
• How you'll own things you buy together
• How you'll split rent or mortgage, bills and household costs
• Who is responsible for which debts
• What happens to the home if you break up: who stays, who leaves, how fast
• Any financial support if the relationship ends (where the law allows it)
• Pets, and how you'll resolve disagreements

What it usually can't do: decide child custody or child support in advance. Courts decide those based on the child's interests at the time. It also can't override things like immigration sponsorship obligations to the government.

Why unmarried couples need to think about this

In many places, marriage comes with a bundle of default rules: how property is divided, spousal support, inheritance, medical decision-making. Unmarried partners often get none of that automatically. Depending on where you live, that can mean:

• No automatic share of property in the other partner's name, even if you contributed to it.
• No spousal-style support after a breakup.
• No automatic inheritance if your partner dies without a will.
• No automatic right to make medical decisions for each other.

A widespread myth is that living together long enough makes you “common-law married.” In most places it doesn't. The table below shows how different the starting rules can be. Treat it as a rough orientation only, and confirm the current law with a local lawyer.

The practical takeaway: depending on where you live, an agreement either creates protections that don't otherwise exist, or replaces default rules you might not want. Either way, the details are local.

Why it matters more when one of you moved

Long-distance couples who close the distance almost always have an imbalance built in. The partner who moved often:

• Left a job and may earn less, or nothing, for a while (or can't legally work yet on some visas)
• Moved into a home the other person owns or leases
• Has no family, friends or local credit history in the new city
• Paid most of the moving costs

None of that is a problem while things are good. But if the relationship ends, the person who stayed still has a home, a job and a network. An agreement can acknowledge that difference. For example, it might say the partner who stayed will cover moving costs back, or give a minimum notice period before either person has to leave. For more on who should move in the first place, see deciding who moves.

Do you need one? A quick decision guide

What to include: a section-by-section outline

Use this as a worksheet. Fill it in together, then take it to a lawyer.

1. Property you each own now

• List significant items, accounts and property each of you owns, with rough values.
• State that these stay separate, including any growth in value (or say otherwise).
• Note anything that's being gifted to the other or to the household.

2. Property you buy together

• Default ownership split for joint purchases (50/50, or by contribution).
• Spending threshold that needs both of your agreement.
• How you'll value and divide joint items if you separate, and who gets first pick.

3. Everyday money

• How you split rent or mortgage and bills: equally, in proportion to income, or another way.
• Whether you'll have a joint account, and how much each contributes.
• What happens while one partner is between jobs after the move.

The options are compared in detail in combining finances after moving.

4. Debts

• Each partner's existing debts, listed.
• Confirmation that each remains responsible for their own pre-existing debt.
• How joint debts (a car loan, a shared card) are split.

5. The home

If one partner owns it: does the other pay rent or contribute to the mortgage? Does contributing create any ownership share? Who pays for improvements? If you split, how long does the non-owner have to move out?

If you rent together: are you both on the lease? Who stays if you split, and who covers the rent during the notice period? How is the deposit divided?

If you buy together: ownership shares based on the down payment, how costs are split, and what happens on a breakup (sell, buy out, or refinance), including how the buyout price is set.

6. Relocation and support

This is the section most standard templates leave out, and the one that matters most for couples who closed the distance. You might agree on:

• A written acknowledgment that one partner relocated and what they left.
• Support during the mover's job search (paying a larger share of costs for a set period).
• Moving costs back, or a set amount, if the relationship ends within a certain period.
• A minimum notice period before either partner must leave the home.

An illustrative clause, to adapt with your lawyer:

Partner B acknowledges that Partner A moved from [city] to [city] on [date], leaving their job and home. If we separate within [time period] of that date, Partner B will [cover reasonable moving costs back / pay a set amount / give a set notice period before Partner A must leave the home].

7. Pets

Who keeps them, whether there's shared care, and who pays ongoing costs.

8. Disputes, reviews and changes

• Try mediation before going to court.
• Review the agreement every year or two, and at big changes.
• Any change must be in writing and signed by both.
• What happens to the agreement if you marry.

How to bring it up without it sounding like distrust

Timing matters more than wording. Raise it early, while you're still planning the move and before anyone has signed a lease. It lands very differently from a document slid across the table the week before the movers come.

Since I'm the one giving up my job and apartment, I'd feel a lot calmer if we wrote down how we'll handle money and the home. Not because I think we'll split up. I just want us both protected so neither of us ever has to worry about it.

I've been reading about cohabitation agreements. Since the house is in my name, I want to make sure you're treated fairly if anything ever happened. Would you want to look at one together?

If your partner pushes back, here's how to answer the common objections:

If the conversation turns into pressure to sign something you don't understand, or you're told you can't have your own lawyer, take that seriously.

How to make one, step by step

1. Talk first. Agree in principle and work through the outline above together.
2. Share full financial information. Income, savings, debts, assets. Hiding things can undermine an agreement later.
3. Draft. Either from your worksheet or with a lawyer drafting from scratch.
4. Get independent advice. Ideally each partner has their own lawyer review it. In some places that's effectively required for the agreement to hold up.
5. Sign properly. Follow whatever formalities apply locally (witnesses, notarization, certificates of legal advice). Signing well before moving day avoids any suggestion of pressure.
6. Store copies. One each, plus a digital copy.
7. Review it. Every year or two, and after big changes.

DIY or lawyer?

A purely DIY agreement with no legal review is the riskiest option. It may still help as a record of what you intended, but it may not do what you expect in court.

Other documents unmarried couples should consider

A cohabitation agreement covers money and property. These fill the other gaps:

• Wills. In many places an unmarried partner inherits nothing without one.
• Beneficiary designations on life insurance, pensions and retirement accounts.
• Healthcare proxy or medical power of attorney so your partner can speak for you.
• Financial power of attorney.
• How you hold title on a home you buy together (the deed matters a lot).

Special cases for international couples

• Which law applies? If you've lived in different countries or might move again, ask your lawyer which jurisdiction's law the agreement should use, and whether it would be recognized elsewhere.
• Visas. If one of you is sponsoring the other, sponsorship can create financial obligations to the government that a private agreement doesn't cancel. Ask an immigration lawyer.
• Marriage soon. If you're on a fiancé visa route (see the K-1 visa guide), you'll be married quickly, so a prenuptial agreement is usually the relevant document.
• Language. Each partner should fully understand what they sign. A translation or a lawyer who speaks your language is worth it.

When to update it

• One of you starts or loses a job, or income changes a lot
• You buy property or a car together
• You have or adopt a child
• Either of you inherits money or starts a business
• You move to another state or country
• You get engaged

The point isn't to plan the breakup. It's to make sure the person who took the bigger risk isn't the only one carrying it.

Done well, the process is mostly a structured money conversation, and those are good for couples. If you haven't had the broader talk about how living together will work, start with setting expectations for living together, and see doing a trial run if you want to test things first.

Frequently asked questions

Is a cohabitation agreement legally binding?

Often, yes, if it's done properly, but it depends entirely on where you live. Courts generally look for a written agreement signed voluntarily, full financial disclosure, fair terms, and ideally independent legal advice for each partner. Some places have specific formal requirements. A local family lawyer can tell you what makes one enforceable in your jurisdiction.

Does living together for a long time make us common-law married?

Usually not. Only a small number of US states still allow new common-law marriages, and even there you typically need to agree you're married and present yourselves as married, not just live together. England and Wales have no common-law marriage at all. Some places, such as Canada's provinces and Australia, give long-term cohabitants certain rights, which is another reason to get local advice.

How much does a cohabitation agreement cost?

It varies widely by location, complexity and whether each partner has their own lawyer. A simple agreement reviewed by a lawyer costs far less than one involving a house, a business or children from previous relationships. Ask for a flat-fee quote up front; many family lawyers offer one.

Can we write our own cohabitation agreement?

You can draft your own terms, and doing the thinking together is valuable. But a DIY document may not be enforceable where you live, or may not do what you think it does. A sensible middle ground is to draft it yourselves using the outline in this guide, then pay a local lawyer to review and finalize it.

What happens to a cohabitation agreement if we get married?

It depends on the jurisdiction and the wording. Some agreements say they end on marriage; some are drafted to convert into a prenuptial agreement. If you're on a fiancé visa or plan to marry soon, you may be better off talking to a lawyer about a prenup instead.